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A boundary is a limit or space between you and the other person; a clear place where you begin and the other person ends . . . The purpose of setting a healthy boundary is, of course, to protect and take good care of you
Better Mental Health
Developed Identity
Developed Autonomy
Avoidance of Burnout
Influence Others' Behavior
You may find it easier to sacrifice your own needs for you friend or partner's out of fear of upsetting them. However, if they ask something of you that goes against your principles, disrespects your time, or forces you to sacrifice something important, it's okay to say no. It doesn't have to be harsh, but learn to say it assertively.
Sometimes your friend or partner may place the blame on you out of hurt or guilt. This behavior does not mean their anger is your fault. Do not let them skirt responsibility by manipulating your emotions. Acknowledge their pain, let them know you are there for them but assert that you will not accept responsibility for their actions.
You deserve kindness and loving communication. If you feel your friend or partner is speaking from unjustified anger or with s disrespectful tone, you are within your right to remove yourself from the scenario. Let them know that if they want to have a conversation, it must come from a place of respect.
When you're in a relationship, opinions and emotions can feel blurred. Learn to decipher your feelings from your friend or partner's and their perception of your feelings. If they speak for you, correct them and kindly ask that they do not dictate your emotions for you.
Sometimes we just need to be alone in emotional upheaval. In a relationship, it can seem like you never are. Asking for space may feel to your friend or partner like you are pushing them away, even though that's not your intention.
Alone time is perfectly healthy and a key to maintaining your own identity and sorting through your own problems. If you aren't clear about needing space, your friend or partner might feel neglected or that you're avoiding them. Establishing upfront that you like to spend time alone will help later on.
Whether your friend or partner tells a hurtful joke or crosses a physical line, learning to articulate your discomfort clearly will help in setting your boundaries. Let them know what you will not tolerate, and plan a course of action if they crosses that boundary.
Phrases like "Please don't do that, it makes me uncomfortable" or "I don't like it when you (ex: use that word, touch me there, use that tone, etc.) are clear and concise.
In an argument, you or your partner may say things you regret that are mean or ugly. Establish that you won't accept them speaking to you that way. You have intrinsic worth and deserve to be spoken to kindly. Make it known that you need an apology and that you need your friend or partner to acknowledged the hurt their words have caused.
Vulnerability should not be demanded. Of course, it is an important component of a healthy relationship, but you should never feel pressured to open up about a difficult topic in any stage of your relationship.
You share your feelings and experiences on your terms. You should feel safe to communicate that you may need time to discuss specific topics or memories.
Your choices are your decision, as is the option to make a new one. If you change your mind, your friend or partner should not make you feel guilty for it. Be clear with your reasoning or simply state that you decided to change your mind. Of course being open is important, but it should happen on your own terms.